Sunday, March 25, 2007
FaceBook This.....
It has occurred to me that I have not written in some time.
And the reasons for this vary.
a) Nothing interesting ever happens to me
b) Anything interesting that ever happens to me generally involves people I know - people with access to this blog. And, I can't blog about them in case they find it and get pissed.
c) My crazy stories involve my job, and people I meet through my job, and if I write about those happenings and they are found - I will be fired. Which would probably, actually, be a blessing in disguise.
At this point in time I'd like to complain about two things,
1) I'm eating one of those Easter eggs with the sugary cream filling, ( my favourite ever since I was a little girl and my grandmother would get them for me at Easter), I like to eat the top half off then stick my finger in and scoop out the centre creamy bit - so I'm trying to do that while typing and my keyboard is getting sticky.
2) What the F is face book, and why is everyone on the damn thing! I just got, I mean JUST got, the hang of MySpace and now the kids are changing it up again!
And the reasons for this vary.
a) Nothing interesting ever happens to me
b) Anything interesting that ever happens to me generally involves people I know - people with access to this blog. And, I can't blog about them in case they find it and get pissed.
c) My crazy stories involve my job, and people I meet through my job, and if I write about those happenings and they are found - I will be fired. Which would probably, actually, be a blessing in disguise.
At this point in time I'd like to complain about two things,
1) I'm eating one of those Easter eggs with the sugary cream filling, ( my favourite ever since I was a little girl and my grandmother would get them for me at Easter), I like to eat the top half off then stick my finger in and scoop out the centre creamy bit - so I'm trying to do that while typing and my keyboard is getting sticky.
2) What the F is face book, and why is everyone on the damn thing! I just got, I mean JUST got, the hang of MySpace and now the kids are changing it up again!
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Mexico: another, nothing blog
In two weeks I’m going to be in Ixtapa Zihautanejo Mexico.
I will be sitting on the beach thinking about how not to contract hepatitis and ruing the day my ridiculous ancestors picked Canada as their place of dwelling.
It’s so cold here, and grey, and Calgary has dust and dirt and SUVs (I should know, I drive one).
I hear in Mexico all they do is smile, and not drive SUVs, and drink Corona all day.
Side note: They only drink Corona because there’s no water to be had. It’s piped directly into the foreign resorts for the white tourists to use in abundance while the mexicans suffer in the hot sun and become dehydrated. Arriba! Olay! Yeah! They built a Walmart in Mexico and it put 200 farmers [who sold their wares at the now (also defunct) morning market] out of work.
Where am I going?
I'm going to Meh-He-Co!
I will not be staying in a resort.
I know, it’s a shocker - this is me we’re talking about. Tess “I hate camping, vermin, strange bugs, and cold showers” Traveler.
But, I have decided to forget about the wonderful world a resort with swimming pools and running, clean, water would have to offer. Instead I have decided to rent a small apartment (from an old Mexican lady - who does not accept visa) in the middle of the colloquial fishing town of Zihuantanejo!
It's 30 dollars a night, total. SO it must be beautiful inside!
It's not only the moral thing about resorts that turns me off of them. You see the thing of it is, I find that resorts and children often go hand in hand, and I'm not a big "children fan." Especially when I'm travelling and tired. The other thing that happens in resorts is that one minute you're sitting at the bar, minding your own business, trying to drink a mojito, and the next you're suddenly surrounded buy old, white, racist, tourists who came to Mexico to golf or some annoying, yuppy, married couple who drive a Gulf.
- both groups, much like small children, I can do with out... Thanks, but no thanks - know what I mean? Leave me alone so I can drink and take in the sunset without your pointless babble... I'm a journalist, I'm trying to think here, and experience Meh-He-CO.
(The last thing I need is a child, an old man, or a married couple snuggleing up beside me at the club med bar...)
I want to do this the right way... like a... like a... Well, not like a Mexican, good god no... but, like a journalist... A journalist who is determined to see Mexico from the ground up.
What does "from the ground up mean?"
No one knows.
But, I'll tell you this much: I’m so excited! I will be there with my aunt (who is only 40 and very capable of having fun still - and travelling like a hard headed, no-bullshit, journalist). Further more, she can throw back a bottle of gin like a drunk'n sailor... I guess that would make her a gay sailor, as I don't think straight sailors drink a lot of G and Ts...
But, I digress. Back to Meh-He-co:
The only thing I’m worried about is getting rabies from a stray dog… or Hep C (not from a dog, from water…or ice...) I haven’t actually had any shots for that kind of thing. But, I’m going to get one next week. I wonder if that will give it enough time to sink into my blood stream (the inoculation, not hep C).
No ice for me. And no swallowing the ocean water when I’m swimming. I will have to be very careful, and stay away from sushi.
It’s going to be great! I’m going to bring my camera and everything!
I'll take pictures, and write stories, and expose the terrible tourist industry for what it is. And when I say "what it is" I mean: whatever I find through my journalistic digging and investigatory journalism work.
It's going to be awesome, I'm going to get so shit faced!
I will be sitting on the beach thinking about how not to contract hepatitis and ruing the day my ridiculous ancestors picked Canada as their place of dwelling.
It’s so cold here, and grey, and Calgary has dust and dirt and SUVs (I should know, I drive one).
I hear in Mexico all they do is smile, and not drive SUVs, and drink Corona all day.
Side note: They only drink Corona because there’s no water to be had. It’s piped directly into the foreign resorts for the white tourists to use in abundance while the mexicans suffer in the hot sun and become dehydrated. Arriba! Olay! Yeah! They built a Walmart in Mexico and it put 200 farmers [who sold their wares at the now (also defunct) morning market] out of work.
Where am I going?
I'm going to Meh-He-Co!
I will not be staying in a resort.
I know, it’s a shocker - this is me we’re talking about. Tess “I hate camping, vermin, strange bugs, and cold showers” Traveler.
But, I have decided to forget about the wonderful world a resort with swimming pools and running, clean, water would have to offer. Instead I have decided to rent a small apartment (from an old Mexican lady - who does not accept visa) in the middle of the colloquial fishing town of Zihuantanejo!
It's 30 dollars a night, total. SO it must be beautiful inside!
It's not only the moral thing about resorts that turns me off of them. You see the thing of it is, I find that resorts and children often go hand in hand, and I'm not a big "children fan." Especially when I'm travelling and tired. The other thing that happens in resorts is that one minute you're sitting at the bar, minding your own business, trying to drink a mojito, and the next you're suddenly surrounded buy old, white, racist, tourists who came to Mexico to golf or some annoying, yuppy, married couple who drive a Gulf.
- both groups, much like small children, I can do with out... Thanks, but no thanks - know what I mean? Leave me alone so I can drink and take in the sunset without your pointless babble... I'm a journalist, I'm trying to think here, and experience Meh-He-CO.
(The last thing I need is a child, an old man, or a married couple snuggleing up beside me at the club med bar...)
I want to do this the right way... like a... like a... Well, not like a Mexican, good god no... but, like a journalist... A journalist who is determined to see Mexico from the ground up.
What does "from the ground up mean?"
No one knows.
But, I'll tell you this much: I’m so excited! I will be there with my aunt (who is only 40 and very capable of having fun still - and travelling like a hard headed, no-bullshit, journalist). Further more, she can throw back a bottle of gin like a drunk'n sailor... I guess that would make her a gay sailor, as I don't think straight sailors drink a lot of G and Ts...
But, I digress. Back to Meh-He-co:
The only thing I’m worried about is getting rabies from a stray dog… or Hep C (not from a dog, from water…or ice...) I haven’t actually had any shots for that kind of thing. But, I’m going to get one next week. I wonder if that will give it enough time to sink into my blood stream (the inoculation, not hep C).
No ice for me. And no swallowing the ocean water when I’m swimming. I will have to be very careful, and stay away from sushi.
It’s going to be great! I’m going to bring my camera and everything!
I'll take pictures, and write stories, and expose the terrible tourist industry for what it is. And when I say "what it is" I mean: whatever I find through my journalistic digging and investigatory journalism work.
It's going to be awesome, I'm going to get so shit faced!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Her Milk Shake Brings all the Boys to the Yard
Kate Moss told me to stop eating carbs and start doing blow - so I did, of course! Then long came Crystal Renn - HaHaHaHa (evil laugh) back to the french fries and full carb beer for me my friends!
My point, is that Renn is hotter than Moss (and also a lot nicer and cooler.)
This is not a good look, what they don't show you is the part where she trips and her shin bone pierces through her skin.You're gonna to make it after all...(then throw your hat in the air)
I'm such a blog ass kisser! watch: "BRAD! RHIANNA! SAMANTHA! YEAH!!!!"
You know what you guys - yeah it's true, you guys are just great... just darn toot'n... I love you guys... Shit, once I figure out how to put my picture up beside my comments - there will be no stopping me.
Blogosphere: watch out you muthaf&cker - because just like Mary Tyler Moore, Jane Fonda, and Rhoda (who I love! Especially after her and Joe got the divorce) I'm gonna be good, real good. I'm going to be a blog-person. A person that blogs...
I may also end up being very fat... I haven't been to the gym in a week, :)
I may also end up being very fat... I haven't been to the gym in a week, :)
In the last three weeks I've only been once. When my friends call and ask me if I'd like to go - I lie and say it's too cold for me to think about going anywhere and I have a touch of flu. But, in reality, it's because I'm just so darn eager to head back home and see what's happening on Blogsot. 
... man, I'm going to make so many friends here!
... man, I'm going to make so many friends here!Tuesday, November 28, 2006
MAN IN THE GREEN TRUCK:
This guy Brad, who drives a lovely green truck, is the most supportive blog reader I know (other than Rhianna, who's also very supportive, Samantha too). He even commented on one of my entries; the one about my Grandpa.
I love my Grandpa - because my grandpa is nucking futs. NUCKING FUTS!
Brad, you're nucking futs too! I will never check the picture part of your blog again because I'm afraid there will be pics of your bare ass in the middle of Banff - way to nucking ruin Banff for me, Brad.
The thing about guys who sell beer is: you think you can just sort of put them all into one big lump. You know the guys; those yellow, fake tan, beer rep types who smell of Lynx... And then there's Brad - not once has he offered me cocaine or tried to slip any of my friends a roofie (much to all of our chagrin). He really broke that stereotype for me, he taught me that I shouldn't lump all beer reps into the same ol'lump. That's what Brad has done for me... Now, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY????
I love my Grandpa - because my grandpa is nucking futs. NUCKING FUTS!
Brad, you're nucking futs too! I will never check the picture part of your blog again because I'm afraid there will be pics of your bare ass in the middle of Banff - way to nucking ruin Banff for me, Brad.
The thing about guys who sell beer is: you think you can just sort of put them all into one big lump. You know the guys; those yellow, fake tan, beer rep types who smell of Lynx... And then there's Brad - not once has he offered me cocaine or tried to slip any of my friends a roofie (much to all of our chagrin). He really broke that stereotype for me, he taught me that I shouldn't lump all beer reps into the same ol'lump. That's what Brad has done for me... Now, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY????
SO happy to be blog'n
I'm so happy right now, I've finally entered the blogosphere.
What could be more thrilling? ... don't answer that...
Thus far, Rhianna is the only one who checks my blog. And that's okay, Rhianna, you're all I really need.
Blogs aren't popularity contests. This isn't myspace, it's my own space for me to muse and think.
I emailed Joe and Ben the link to my site as well... maybe they'll read too.
Well, Rhianna, it's time for me to go...
Gotta go, House will be on soon.
What could be more thrilling? ... don't answer that...
Thus far, Rhianna is the only one who checks my blog. And that's okay, Rhianna, you're all I really need.
Blogs aren't popularity contests. This isn't myspace, it's my own space for me to muse and think.
I emailed Joe and Ben the link to my site as well... maybe they'll read too.
Well, Rhianna, it's time for me to go...
Gotta go, House will be on soon.
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